Sunday, November 08, 2009

Designing Women.

When Boredom is the Mother of All Inventions and Necessity the Root of All Evil.
My hairdresser decided to get me a present seeing how I must be one of his most loyal customers. Yes Hairy Sally, I've come a long way from them' days of salon hopping (?saloon should have been more appropriate in this instance?), I have found my hair mate, my soul mate. His brush glides like no other!

So Mr. R offered me this really nice blue bracelet as a token of affection. The bracelet in question is nothing fancy, a piece of flashy rubber with a hanging 60's peace sign, which I found to be really tasteful! And so being blessed with some extra time this weekend, and those seamstress genes that come with the XX package, I decided to make my own bracelets. And all it took is a few pendants and threads of colorful fabric.

-- Hair Affair.
-- Work In Progress on an Accidental Background.

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening. --Coco Chanel

Friday, November 06, 2009

What's in a WALL?

YOU, ME, Everybody Else or what's in a WALL?

Yes it's Friday night, Friday night lights, lights off. Maybe I was supposed to be sipping on that Strawberry Champagne with what I could only describe as goo at the bottom of the glass, as exhibit A of the failed attempt of that MYU Bartender to make a decent somewhat cosmopolitan drink. Maybe I was supposed to be having Dinner with close friends at Leila's. Maybe I was supposed to be talking to YOU on the Phone. And yet, I'm here, naying all above mentioned suggestions and all odds. SO what's in a WALL?

A WALL is something you build in a budding dysfunctional relationship, as part of passive aggressive behavior with your current flame, as part of the so called mating dance, more like a one step unfinished Waltz, unfinished Symphony, unfinished Sympathy of BitterSweet Symphony. (Thank you Beethoven, Thank you Massive Attack). Only to find out that the unfinished Wall will come crumbling on your uncoiffed, unadorned head of hair. Too many negations in one sentence, to let you know that NO, I will not be at MYU tonight.

A WALL is also a shield you build to protect yourself from unwelcome interactions. Only to find out that it is impossible to isolate yourself when you are part of a group. Only to find out that taking a distance DOESN'T actually entail isolating yourself or the "OTHER", taking a distance merely wants YOU to take more precautions. More of a Self Exercise. SO, be Selfish in your rapports, condition yourself to be Selfless with true friends, at least on a theoretical basis, maybe for better communication, but be Self aware of your surroundings and mostly be Self assured that you can be happier if you make those around you happy. SO, YES I'm sleeping a bit cheesier tonight, with a proud and slightly less crooked smile, but NO I will not be having dinner at Leila's. Yes, I AM taking said appropriate distance. This WALL is more of a Glass Door tonight.

A WALL is time and distance. And each day will seem like another brick laid over the previous one, cemented and strengthened by events on either side that are not visible to that other perimeter. And your field of vision narrows, even more, until I become part of your distant Imagination, and you of Mine. So, NO I will not be talking to YOU on the phone today, because, well because, I have traveled Away, because you must be sleeping, who knows in what bed, who knows in what country, who knows if that phone rang, will you be the one answering, will you have that special ringtone still assigned, will you put it on silent to let HER sleep some more?

A WALL is finally the cherished, off white four corners of my bedroom Tonight. SO, YES I shall sleep with the feeling of safety and comfort these cold pieces of lifeless, austere, 24 years old, stones bring me. Goodnight WALL.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.

--Outside The Wall, Pink Floyd.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Food for thought. All this Hummus talk got me Hungry.

We first invented the Alphabet. We saw it was good. And behold it was very good.
So, We invented Hummus.
And then, We invented Tabbouleh.
Nevertheless, We still can't form a government.
But hands off our Hummus and Tabbouleh or as God is our witness we shall make the biggest dish and get into Guinness for such amazing feats!
--Zeit Baladeh 2assil.

Thank You Delirious.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

True Story.

Breaking News: A 5'11" foreigner was just run over in Gemmayzeh.
So how random is random? Here I was driving back home, trying to look in all directions, ok maybe not, but driving back home nevertheless, and suddenly out of nowhere, or maybe out of the sidewalk an American lady decides to cross the street. It's Gemmayzeh, it's dark, not that I'm trying to find excuses (well maybe I am), I hit her with my car, very gently I must add since being the SAFE driver that I am, I was doing about 20mph. She starts shouting, I apologize profusely, she picks up her scattered belongings and yells yet once more: How could you not see a 5'11!!!!
I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry for that woman I almost injured. I'm sorry for my car that she kept slamming and beating. I'm sorry for Lebanon because I'm pretty sure one less tourist will visit our country next year. I made a difference today. I changed the natural course of things. (Not that there's anything to be proud of! :)

Monday, October 05, 2009

The New Man. Four exercises in Utopian Movements.

Here it is, my new life. Well into the medical internship and comfortably installed, maybe a bit too comfortably, seeing how I have become accustomed to do nothing BUT Medicine, I decided to change. Yet again. The circle closes once more and it's about time for rebirth, or just recycle.

It's amazing how much I enjoy the simple things in life, how much I can stand at awe just observing them, describing and analyzing them, try it, NOW, just the fact that you're reading this, you're reading something somebody else was writing, can you picture them typing on the keyboard? Can you see them tilting their head to one side and then a tad backwards, as if pleased to what is coming out at their fingertips, can you see them following the typed letters one after the other and being amazed at how quick they can go, faster, faster! Anyways, Here I am, in front of the screen, this is not a laptop, not this time, this is a PC, in my room. In my field of vision lay a picture, a necklace and a book. The book in question is Pathology 3rd edition of the Board Review Series, an indication that I started studying for my steps (the Board Exam in Med School), TODAY! I read three paragraphs and decided to move on. But an indication nevertheless, something more of an incentive and so the book shall remain in my field of vision.

Just about now, a friend interrupts my line of thought, I interrupt back, there's a roll and I'm on it!

So what is this about? Other than Carpe Diem over and over again? Other than the fact that I believe that just because the wind is high it blows my mind. Other than I LOVE the Moment, this MOMENT! Taking time to observe the most futile things in life make my thoughts rush in, one after the other, and then in complete and utter chaos, I start questioning the meaning of every action, its impact on subsequent ones, its display in front of an audience if there ever was one larger than life itself, than yourself. Think of it, at the hairdresser's, during the morning rounds, when stuck in traffic, what if someone is watching the scene unfold, what if this someone is you detaching yourself and enjoying the show.

Noting people's trivial moves as if in a play, as if aiming to recount them later makes you focus more on details. She was on the phone complaining about how her maid is being demanding. How dare she ask to talk to her family back in Africa? How dare she take advantage of her extreme kindness? And so she's advised to giver her away, to return her as if exchangeable merchandise, but no she wouldn't, she has worked hard to train her like the slave she wanted her to become for 9 months, 9 months! She will not falter or break in front of mere whims and capricious behavior, goddammit she will MAKE her stay! But how dare she take advantage of her extreme kindness? How dare she put a damper on her day and her time for self indulging at the hairdresser's. Anyways...

So I amuse myself, I observe, I think, I exist :)
Why this rant? I've pulled myself together, that's why. Yes, this is me actually pulled together. I decided there are just about enough hours in the day to life live full throttle. From Medicine, to Ballet, to Friends, to everything in between, Hello World, I'm not ready to hibernate just yet!


Speaking of new things, new people, new personalities, multiple personalities, here's an event that took place tonight at the Beirut Art Center. It follows the Ligna Art Works (Focusing on the reception side of radio, LIGNA looks for ways to turn the situation of reception into a performative intervention in a place. Listening to the radio thus becomes a collective production, which bears uncontrollable results.)

So, basically each individual had a walk-man with pre-recorded instructions and short existentialist truths and questions about society, utopia and oneself. Much like an improv' everywhere scenario but a bit more philosophical as to what Utopia is, to suit the artsy antsy.

You listen to the voice in your head telling you to move across the room, to punch someone in the face, to run with fear, to lay on your back and look at the ceiling, just admiring IT. Yes, the ceiling, why the hell not? It's an exercise in conforming and non conforming, an exercise in trusting those around you and sharing new experiences with complete strangers, an exercise in letting go and finding yourself, an exercise in listening and watching.

It's a delight to go through the motions, a delight to watch the others, the ensemble, the individual. Your adrenaline is pumping by the end of the interactive play, especially that most of the participants came in without any preconception as to what awaits them. And then you end the exercise with a dance, with the lights off, under a disco ball and you party like it's 1973! So what if it's an art gallery? What if it's Monday Afternoon? What if you don't know who you're dancing with? Have you ever wondered as to why it is socially acceptable to dance in a Club? Have you ever wondered as to what the owner of said Club must be thinking? For him he created a space, he knows the space when empty, with the lights on, and then he turns them off, he puts on some music and he watches these hordes of people just dancing, moving, laughing, and then all of a sudden, flash forward and the lights are on again, no one is left but the janitor cleaning up the mess, the show is over for the night. What was that? Really, what was that?...


Synopsis of The New Man. Four Exercises in Utopian Movements:

The poet Bertolt Brecht develops the Lehrstueck for a state without classes, where gestures, social positions and by that society as a whole come into play.
The dancer Rudolf von Laban proposes Bewegungschoere, choirs of movement, in which collective vibrations disperse power itself.
The director Wsewolod Meyerhold experiments in the young Soviet Union with biomechanical exercises for his actors to renew their bodies and by that shape a new kind of subjectivity.
And the comedian Charlie Chaplin stumbles across all of these utopian visions and their promises.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Obladi Oblada.

How am I ever going to be able to explain life to my children? How am I ever going to relate these experiences that I went through at one time or another? Will I have to give up this urge to have them share existence or its background as I see it, with every event that adds to and builds on it?

How will they understand that Tante May was not always this lonely, she actually had a husband, Maroun, and boy did he love her! Did he pamper and cherish her! I could only remember them together, her with a radiant smile, him always so cheerful and playful, him who they will never get to meet.

Obladi Oblada Life Goes On!

Silence. Qu'en faire. Enfer.

Ca y est, le blog prend un tournant encore une fois, un peu plus intime comme même. Il se peut que j'efface ces mots-ci dans les jours qui viennent, mais ce soir je veux que toi tu t'exprimes. Et donc, je ne fais que copier la lettre que tu viens de m'envoyer, parce que vraiment que vais je dire? Comment devrais je répondre? Est ce que je suis supposée savoir? Est ce la vraiment ce qui manque? Est ce le silence dont tu parles? Le silence n'est beauté que parce qu'il laisse libre cours à ta propre imagination. A ton propre monologue. Et peut être c'est la raison meme pour laquelle je ne trouve plus de reponse. Et voilà alors, je te laisse inconditionné:

Je comprends le silence et sa force. La clarte de l'esprit, du corps. Dans la jungle de l'intoxication sociale, ou le poignard de l'envie est l’alter ego du fourreau de la compassion, la vie est non seulement devenu polluee mais lourde, compliquee, socio maniaquo systematique. La loi de la jungle sociale du 20eme est une religion hypnotique. Elle preche l'inconscience, l'amadouement, elle opere en silence. Quand au souvenir quand regne le silence, il possede un sentiment, une excitation, une peur, une verite, un battement honnete et pour un millieme millieme de seconde ou l'adrenaline est liberee dans ton sang, ton corps bat, ton coeur bat la chamade, l’excitation te dechire, l’adrenaline te marque, elle explore ton cerveau, elle est la... L'adrenaline marque. La peur, le sursaut, les idees irrecevables des instants de bonheur intense, chaque phenomene qui te stimule a l'adrenaline, qui te retourne a ton souvenir. Je te laisse avec ces mots; encore au silence.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Of Megane or Spectacles.

Meganekko-moe, 眼鏡っ娘萌え, "glasses-girl moe", describes a person who is attracted to fictional characters with eyeglasses...
--Kichiku and Megane.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ingenue...

For example, if you order me not to die, I will not die, no matter what.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Of Jediism and Religion.


I try not to question religion or faith, I try not to disturb the almighty, myself or the seemingly natural order of things with such existentialist issues. Besides, why would I or anyone for that matter want to annoy HIM? I don't play with fire, I live in positively undeniable denial, and I'm fairly comfortable so be it.
But then I go over articles like this one, and I find myself laughing at the object of my reading. And yet, in the middle of all this rather pleasant commotion, between laughter and nodding in disbelief, I find Daniel Jones' actions bearing an uncanny resemblance to, well, my own...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

101 ways to be a Prisoner. مشتاقين، مستائين، مش طايئين

--I'm no Nabih Awada, but I miss you too...

*Image taken at an exhibition by Akram Zaatari of letters written and decorated by a certain Nabih Awada (a.k.a Neruda, an ex-communist party resistance fighter who spent ten years in Israel’s Askalan Prison)